the james.

( ( oh, dawg ) )

Bugg, it's time for your walk.

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the james.
sickanddizzy
 I am a fan of being honest & forthright with your friends about their girlfriends/boyfriends/partners/etc.
especially when you see them getting themselves into a lot of trouble
possibly even damage
if you withheld specific information 

however
every time I think of the people I knew/went around with/called my friends
in 2005/6/7
I am completely bowled over with pain and sadness and anger
because they attempted to do the above
but not with anyone's best interests in mind
they were not trying to save her from my kind of crazy
they were just trying to gossip
and to perpetuate my crazy so they would have something to gossip about

I have slowly 
systematically, even
weeded these individuals from my life
as the information was revealed that they had originally attempted to meddle with
nay,
sabotage
my budding relationship with josie


these people I loved and mostly trusted
who were the only friends I had made in the time since lauren & lindsay took away all of the ones I had before
they saw my state of mental decay
and rather than help me repair
support me to forge healthy, normal, functional, lasting relationships
they took it upon themselves to interfere with my slow healing process
in the worst possible way
 
josie speaks candidly now of the things people said to her
about me
under the guise of "friendly advice"
those, she admits, she never called friends
and had only barely met them
and that they sometimes said equally disturbing things about eachother
at the time, they could come together and agree on one thing
"Steer clear of that one."
 
 
By the time she proposed to me last fall,
I hadn't spoken to or contacted a single one of them in over a year
occasionally a friend request will pop through on facebook
and I am careful to let it pend for an appropriate amount of time
before I click "ignore"
 
I have no desire to dredge up this issue
what excuses could they have that would make any of it okay?
why would I bother repairing a friendship that was obviously hardly even there?
what took them so long to realize they had done something wrong?
what made them think that this girl they barely knew
didn't harbor her own kind of crazy?
specifically
the kind of crazy that was perfectly compatible with mine
 
lucky for them
Josie & I are excellent partners
when faced with adversity.
 
 

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